Shattered Dreams
by ShadowGraffiti
Summary: (standalone) On the ship ride back to Port Royal, where he is to be hung, Jack Sparrow finds himself reflecting on the only part of his life that holds any meaning to him anymore… (For anyone who likes sad stories)


A/N: Hey all!! First POTC fic, but I write TONS of other stuff, so don't let that throw you off ^.^   
  
*****IMPORTANT***: This is not slash!!!** In the beginning, it will probably sound like slash, but I swear to you, it is not!!! You have to keep reading to see what is really going on. Sorry to all Jack/Will fans  
  
Also, this takes place after Jack defeated Barbossa, and is on the ship back to Port Royal for his hanging.  
  
Lastly, I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or any of the actors. Sueing me is stupid and pointless. And if you do plan to sue, I must tell you I have a shovel, a big backyard, and a roll of ducktape. You've been warned.  
  
Enjoy ^.^  


  
Shattered Dreams  
by ShadowGraffiti  


  
Elizabeth let a soft sigh escape her lips as her gaze fell upon the figure of Jack Sparrow. He stood on the starboard side of the Dauntess, arms placed on the edge and head hung. She couldn't help but pity him it was his last time he was going to see the sea the last bit of the freedom he had told her about. Once they were back in Port Royal, Norrington would see to it that the captain was hung. What twisted Elizabeth's stomach was the fact that Jack knew it he knew he was going to die.  
  
Slowly, she approached him, the deep sorrow in his gaze becoming clearer the closer she came. His eyes were glassy, and held a distant, faraway look. He seemed not to be even on the same ship, and Elizabeth felt a twinge of guilt when her footsteps brought him back to reality.  
  
Ah, Ms. Swan, he greeted her with a nod and a half-hearted grin that did not touch his eyes.   
  
That's alright. You can call me Elizabeth, she told him, placing her hands on the edge of the ship next to him, staring into the horizon. It struck her as odd that he had called her that Jack knew that Ms. Swan' was what she requested to be called. Being his normal, annoying self, that would give him every reason to refer to her as Elizabeth.  
  
What use is there to be flamboyant when you know you're going to die?' She thought to herself, and once again, a surge of pity swelled in her chest. Jack didn't deserve to die  
  
You know, it might be a bit of a help if you were to make up your mind I call you Elizabeth, and you snap at me that it is Ms. Swan. Now, I finally call you Ms. Swan, but no now it's Elizabeth, Jack flailed his hands about as he spoke, body jerking around in a style that belonged only to him.  
  
The young lady hung her head as she realized that the day after, she would never see him talk that way again. She quickly forced the thought from her mind, and turned to him with a bright smile.  
  
What are you doing here, all alone, in the middle of the night, Captain? Elizabeth chirped, trying her best to start a conversation. Talking normally with Jack Sparrow was a rather pointless task to even attempt, yet the lady felt she owed it to him to at least try and take his mind off the fact that he was to be hung the very next day.  
  
Admiring the sea. Probably the last time I'll get to, eh? His roughish grin made itself present, but once again, his eyes were not lightened in the least. Elizabeth found she had to blink back tears as the statement sunk in.  
  
She opened her mouth to tell him not to think like that that he was Captain Jack Sparrow, and that he could escape from anything but she was cut off as the pirate began talking again.  
  
After all, I promised I would give it to him one day. Elizabeth was not entirely sure he was speaking to her, but did not question him as he continued. I told him I'd give him the horizon and the finest ship to sail it with. He deserves nothing short of The Pearl His eyes changed suddenly, a look of despair filling them. But it seems as if I can't have her, doesn't it? I thought I'd finally won her and my crew leaves me again. Oh, who cares what happens to Ol' Jack? He's completely redundant Slowly, the pirate's eyes slid closed, and his head hung limp. Just bloody redundant.  
  
Jack, I can assure you that you are most definitely not redundant but I am a bit lost. Who is this him' you speak of? In her mind, she had corrected herself Captain Jack', but her spirits dropped when he seemed not to notice.   
  
Jack lifted himself so that he stood upright, hands raised and ready to wave around as he spoke. He's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. So beautiful, that you can't stop looking at him and when you hold him in your arms, you never want to let him go just want to hold him there and keep him safe from the rest of the world.  
  
Elizabeth had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping. Never had she heard a man speak of another male like this it was unheard of. And why Jack, of all men? She found she had a strong urge to back away, and contemplated doing so That is, until Jack began to speak again.  
  
His eyes gained a thoughtful, yet pleasant look, and his mouth turned up in a genuine smile, unlike anything Elizabeth had ever seen him portray. He brought his hands in front of him, turning one so that it looked as if he were cradling something. The other hand hovered above what it was he seemed to see in his careful hold.  
  
And when he wraps his chubby little hand around your finger His smile deepened in memory, and he curled three of his fingers so that only his forefinger was held to the cradled bit of memory, You just want to give him everything and at the same time, you never want to let him go.  
  
are you saying or do you mean to say Elizabeth swallowed as his head slowly raised, allowing their gazes to slowly meet, a look swirling in the depths of the pirate's eyes that showed nothing of the flamboyant spark usually present. The lady was at a loss for words, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to voice her mind. Desbelief rung through her body, her mind telling her that it couldn't be true. And yet, somehow, in her heart, she wondered why she had not seen it before. With one, final swallow, she managed to force out the words that part of her seemed to believe in every aspect, and the other seemed to doubt beyond all reason. Do you mean to say that you are a a father?  
  
The captain's smile returned, his eyes softening.  
  
Right you are, love. Right you are Then, he turned back to the ocean, replacing his hands on the railing. I just wish I could seem him again not even one yet, the little bugger. I wish there was some way he could remember me He gave a short laugh that was in no way meant to be humorous. But I suppose I should just abandon that wish right now. There ain't no way he'll remember his father. No one remembers anything from when they're that young. No memory of the days in me lap, fishing, or when I sat by the fire with im, tellin' him stories and makin' him laugh He shook his head, a bittersweet smile filling his features. I always loved to make him laugh.  
  
Tentatively, Elizabeth wiped away the tears that she had been formerly unaware of. Before, she had simply wished he would not be hung because she felt he did not deserve it but now, she knew he was a father. He had a child   
  
What about the mother? Elizabeth asked, her eyes widening as the thought struck her. This time, Jack's small laugh did seem to brighten his features, and he nodded his head.  
  
as fiery as her name, mind you. I wouldn't have her any other way not just a pretty face, but a soul with a true spark to it. These days, ladies just seem so proper. They'd all rather watch you drown then risk getting their own hands wet. Instantly, his face dropped in shock, and he turned to face Elizabeth, raising his hands defensively. Not speaking about you, of course. After all, you drink rum, sing pirate songs, risk your life for the one you love, and seem to be a bit of a pyromaniac  
  
The lady just laughed, shaking her head.  
  
I'll let it slide but just this once, mind you.  
  
Yes, apologies, love. He put his hands together and gave a small bow. Then, he seemed to jump back into the memory of his beloved, his eyes lighting once again. But lil' Benjamin I remember holding him, and I knew what I wanted for him. I told him, I said, Little Ben! I swear to you one day, you will stand behind the wheel of the greatest ship and with that ship, I will give you the horizon, and all the stretch of sea that lay before it!' Jack spread his arms and waved them in all directions as he spoke, exaggerating his statements deeply and yet, that was the way of Jack Sparrow. It had become normal for Elizabeth to seem him do that. He finished slightly bent over, eyes level with the lady's, arms spread wide apart.  
  
Then, slowly, he seemed to drop. As Elizabeth stared into his eyes, she could almost see his soul crash to the floor, shattering into an impossible puzzle. His eyes lowered, his smile faded, and his arms fell back to his sides. Slowly, he sank to the ground, turning so that his back rested against the railing. For a good while, he did nothing but stare in front of him, the look of pride fading, replaced with that of loss and regret.   
  
I just want to see him and Amber. I'd give anything but fate never seems to be in me favor, does it? Me own crew I thought I could trust them, I did. And yet while I'm in a cave, fighting for The Pearl with the man I hate more than any other, they think it would be for the best to sail away on it. Oh, don't bother with Ol' Jack, he isn't anyone important. Bloody redundant, just as Barbossa said.  
  
And since when have you cared what Barbossa says?! Elizabeth demanded, crouching down next to him, but Jack didn't even spare her a glance. For a moment, she stared at the pirate, contemplating whether or not to leave him be. Just as she was going to get up, however, something caught her eye  
  
A tear. A single, solitary bead of despair, crawling down his face. He did nothing to wipe it way, nor did he seem to even care. He opened his mouth to speak, and when he did, his voice was twisted in a sob.  
  
I want to go home, love. I want to see my darling Amber again I want to dance with her in the candlelight, while me son sleeps in the next room. I want to sit by the fire with Ben in me lap and Amber's head on me shoulder More tears spilled down his face, and he angrily tried to wipe them away, but they were only replaced by more. His eyes raised to the heavens, eyes holding a distant look. I don't want to be all by me onsies anymore I want to be with the only two people in the world who care about me. Can't I just see them once more just once more?  
  
Elizabeth was at a loss of what to say. In all her days, never would she have imagined that she would be the one to hear the sorrows of the infamous Jack Sparrow. She watched as his pleading eyes gazed upon the stars, before sliding closed, and he let his fall back against the side of the ship.  
  
No. I'm all be onsies. And that's the way it will end. No one cares what happens to bloody Ol' Jack. One might pity a man who only wanted to earn back a ship for his family. But I'm not considered a man, now am I? I'm less than a man I'm a bloody pirate. And as your good friend Norrington put it, a pirate is, by no means, a man at all. Elizabeth was slightly startled when she realized he was talking to her again. He turned his head to look at her, eyes full of a sad pleading. So find Amber for me, will you, love? And tell her that I want her to find a real man one who can be there, and care for her, because I could not. Someone to make her happy and someone who can show my son the wonders of the sea oh, the sea   
  
Jack's eyelids drooped as he spoke, and finally, they fell closed, his head dropping to his chest. Elizabeth could only stare at him, tears running like rivers down her face. Despair, unlike anything she had felt before, seemed to fill her every being. Jack a man so hard to understand. She herself had thought him to be a selfish, heartless murderer, with eyes only for his beloved ship  
  
No. Sure, she knew he loved that vessel but he did not only want it for himself. He wanted it so that his son could love it as much as he did. He wanted it so that he could give his family the sea.   
  
When one first looked upon Jack, they saw a mindless fool who was willing to do anything to get what he wanted, even if it meant another was to die. But once the time was taken to stare into his shining, chocolate eyes, the very core of his mind seemed to be revealed and inside, he was a man with an undying love for his soul mate and child a man brave enough to leave them behind, because he believed he could earn them a better life.   
  
And yet his own life, so full of cheeriness, bursting with excitement and conveyed with a personality all of his own, was going to end with the simple pull of a lever the very next day. Just those few seconds was all it took, and then the man she had spent her entire adventure growing fonder and fonder of would fade from existence. There would be no hope that one day, the Black Pearl would dock at Port Royal, and Jack would step back into their lives, if only for a moment. The rougish smile, the way his arms flailed as he talked, how his words flowed like riddles if you tried to look too deeply into them  
  
No. After dawn, he would be gone. The thought forced a sob from young Elizabeth's lips as she spread her blanket over the sleeping form of the pirate.  
  
No, Amber don't leave stay bring Ben he mumbled, tossing his head, but to no avail. His love was miles away, and Elizabeth found she could do nothing but turn back to her cabin, crying for the man destined to die the next day, believing that he was less than a man, and that he did not deserve to have anyone care about him.  
  
I care, Jack Elizabeth whispered, pausing at the stairs to look back at him one last time. I care.  
  
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A/N: Grrr not as angsty as I had hoped, but its 2 in the morning, and I am done!! ^.^   
  
I think this is a standalone. Unless anyone has any ideas of how I should continue, in which case, an e-mail would be lovely ^.^  
  
Please review.   
  
This is my first Pirates of the Caribbean fic. The least you could do is leave a review *looks hopeful* ^.^


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